Elevating Individuals Through Mentorship

TERN Talks | Susan Hyche | Parenting College Students

 

How does a single mother of four rebuild her life after divorce, raise her children to graduate from college and pursue promising careers, and discover her own calling along the way? For Susan Hyche, the answer began with mentorship.

Mentors Charles and Nubia Fisher gave Susan an opportunity and one life-changing question: “What were you born to do?” That question sparked a journey of self-discovery that helped Susan recognize her true passion: connecting with people, meeting them where they are, and coaching them to believe in themselves and their potential.

Along the way, Susan experienced success in the ways business often measures it—through growth, achievement, and numbers. But for her, the greatest measure of success has always been the genuine, heartfelt connections we make with others.

Today, Susan is a client and retail operations leader who brings that same heart and purpose to the teams she leads, the people she mentors, and her four grown children.

Her journey is a reminder that sometimes, finding your calling begins with someone simply believing in you and asking the right question.

Watch the episode here

 

Listen to the podcast here

 

Parenting Four Kids From College To Career With Susan Hyche

An Unexpected Encounter: Parenting Four College Students To Career Success

This is another awesome episode of the show. I have somebody that I met in a very unique way. You never know when you’re going to meet a kindred spirit or somebody that has things in common with you, and the conversation opens things up. I met Susan when I was out doing something that I hate doing. My guest, Susan, is a local to the Northern Virginia area.

I happened to be out shopping. That is what I hate doing. I do not like shopping. I had to go on a trip, and I was taking one of my sons with me. I needed a new outfit. I went into her store, and that store is White House Black Market. We’ll give a shout-out to White House Black Market. Susan happened to be there that day. She is the manager for this store.

As we were getting to know each other and she was asking me why I needed this outfit, we started talking about colleges and universities. I found out that she has 3 of her 4 children who attended my alma mater, James Madison University. When I heard that, we didn’t stop talking after that. I learned a lot about Susan. I was fascinated not only with her own personal story, but I have yet to have somebody come on to the show and talk about their journey as a parent with children that are going through the collegiate years.

 

TERN Talks | Susan Hyche | Parenting College Students

 

Susan, welcome to the show. It’s wonderful to have you here.

Thank you so much for having me. I have looked forward to this conversation. It’s so nice to meet you. It’s so nice to talk to you.

I pulled out my special pillow. It says James Madison University. Shout out to the Dukes. Tell us about your four kids, how old they are, and which ones went to JMU.

Whitney is my oldest, and she graduated from George Mason. She’s a nurse. Katie is my next oldest. She went to James Madison. She is a neuroscientist and is doing amazing things. Jordyn is my next daughter. She graduated from JMU as well. She is a very gifted graphic designer. Joshua is the caboose. He’s the youngest. He graduated from JMU. He got his degree in Physics, but he works in radiology-oncology out in San Francisco. They’re doing some pretty cool things, all four of them.

You have raised four amazing kids in four very different areas. We do love the Patriots. The fact that Whitney went to George Mason University, we’ll give a shout-out there. Truth be told, I did summer school at George Mason University because I needed the credit hours in order to graduate on time since I had spent a semester abroad. Thank God for George Mason University for giving me my credits.

For people who are tuning in, I want you to know that Susan was the absolute, most prepared guest I had for this show because she was looking stuff up. She was reading previous episodes. She went out to all four of her kids and said that she needed something from each one of them in preparation for this episode. We have so much information on all of her kids. I love it. Thank you for that preparation. I hope I do you service in this.

You’re welcome.

That being said, let’s start with Katie. I loved reading her story. I love the fact that what ended up coming back to you is knowing that they were going to be talking about mentors and who affected their lives. This show is an homage to all of those professors who have done an amazing job in getting their students through their collegiate years and helping them understand, especially the new ones that are like, “I don’t even know what I want to study.” That was a theme that Katie had said. She had professors who helped pull together a variety of interests for her to make it make sense. Tell me a little bit about Katie’s journey and what she said to you. Katie is a 2017 graduate, if I remember that right.

From Struggles To Neuroscience: Katie’s Path & Brown University Fellowship

I believe so. Katie’s story is a fascinating one that is miraculous in many ways. It’s the one that we were discussing when I met you at White House Black Market. It always makes me emotional because Katie had some health problems when she was born and struggled way back in first grade. I know that we’re a little bit off topic, but it matters to the core piece of her story, which is how these things are a huge part of why she is such a gifted teacher and so on and so forth.

She almost didn’t do well in first grade because she was struggling with health issues and whatnot. She feared that she wasn’t super smart, which is not true at all. A lot of people feel that way for various reasons. It can be different learning styles or whatever. There are so many different things that happen. For Katie, that’s what set the course there. It’s something that she has worked hard to overcome all of her life.

At James Madison, she had already proven herself to anyone watching her. I always knew she was smart. She had nothing to prove. She had the most amazing good fortune to meet and have professors who saw her and valued her work ethic and what she brought to the table. They brought an equal, if not greater, commitment to her journey.

I know this because Katie has told me this. She attributes the amazing recommendation letters that they wrote for her and also their encouragement for her to apply to Brown University’s PhD program. Their recommendation letters that they wrote, I believe, in addition to how Katie presents herself, made the difference in that journey. She was selected. They were overjoyed to have her. Her journey there was extremely successful.

The difference is in a professor, I believe, who sees a student no matter the age, sees value, and sees the whole of the person, if you will, not just their intellect or the work ethic, but also the heart. The things that set a person apart. Not only do they see that, but they speak about it. They champion that student in all of those areas. I believe that that’s what happened to Katie. All of these years, I have been emotional about that and wanted to thank them myself if I knew them, but I don’t.

This is a common theme throughout all of my kids. All four of them have great stories about professors who went the extra mile and poured into them. That is something that I believe is not celebrated enough. It deserves a tremendous amount of attention. It would be comforting to parents to know, when you’ve got your kiddo graduating high school headed into what can be scary territory, that there are brilliant, gifted, loving, and committed professors waiting to get to know your kids and pour into your kids. That is something that we don’t talk about enough to the level that it deserves, if that makes sense.

There are brilliant, gifted, loving, committed professors waiting to know your kids and pour into them, and that is something we just don't talk about enough to the level that it deserves. Share on X

The timing of your words is so perfect. We are in mid-August. This is the time when the students are going back to university, if they’re at university, or they are getting ready to launch their university career. At 9:00, we had a graduated senior from our local high school come over to the house to say her goodbyes. You could tell that she was both nervous and excited all at the same time. There were tears running down her face.

We asked her. We said, “How do you think your parents are going to do?” She looked at me and said, “Not well. Dropping me off is going to be hard, but I’ll have to worry about that tomorrow being today.” Let’s give a few shout-outs because you said you wanted to thank these professors for Katie. We have Dr. Nagel, who was one of those mentors for her. He was instrumental in getting her to her first conference presentation and publication.

Dr. Andre helped with the honors thesis. Dr. Jeff Dyche helped her apply for that fellowship at Brown University. I don’t think you mentioned this yet. I read that she did her postdoctoral fellowship at Harvard Medical School and was posted at Mass General up there in Boston, from JMU and all these things. She’s established herself very well in the Northeast. Is that right?

She has. It’s amazing. She was able to secure her own funding. I believe that it was Professor Dyche, who is still actively involved in Katie’s life. He also had a hand in that success. It’s not every day that scientists get funded. She’s a neuroscientist and is doing some amazing things there. There are many things about Katie’s story that I didn’t even touch on, but there is one thing that I will say because I mentioned the journey starting in first grade.

Rewriting The Narrative: How Mentorship Shapes Future Teachers

It’s comforting as a mother to have watched it play out in her life. I would say this to other parents. Unfortunately, we all as humans pick up messages along our journey. Picking up a message does not make the message true. Katie has always had a beautiful mind. She has always been a smart person. Unfortunately, wrong messaging was there early on. What I have seen play out in her life, though, is that it has made her one of the most generous, kind, and giving teachers that I have ever had the privilege of overhearing.

We all as humans pick up messages along our journey, but just because we pick up a message does not make the message true. Share on X

She tutors kids from all over and oftentimes does that when she’s home visiting me. I hear in her the very idea that I have of how these professors must have shown up for her. It is patience. It is an investment with their energy, their time, and their belief. She believes in her students so much. Part of that was rooted in knowing what it feels like to fear that you’re not smart enough, knowing how that feels. She never wants anyone to feel that.

She believes that if you look at something maybe a different way or you show it a different way, you will tap into the learning style for that particular kiddo, and then they get it. It clicks, and then they can feel, “I am smart.” That serves them the rest of their life. I believe that everything came full circle, and it has shaped her into being a very gifted teacher. That’s what I wanted to say about that.

We did the thank-yous to at least three. I’m sure there are plenty of others. She chose studies. I did not study anything that she studied at JMU. I studied Communications. She pulled together Bio and Psychology. Later on, through, I believe, her discussions with the professors, she was able to identify a keen interest in vision and sleep. What do you do when you have all these different interests? The fact that she leveraged her professors’ knowledge and experience to open up broader avenues for her consideration is why she is where she is.

Kudos to Katie for, one, tapping into her professors. Professors have office hours. A lot of times, students are not taking advantage of office hours. They’ll show up for class, but then they won’t go and sit with their professors, which I find is one of those best practices that all students should do. It sounds like Katie did that in spades.

Not only that, but Katie did a great job in working with her professors to try to identify a particular career path. That’s what she’s doing now. She’s paying it forward and serving as a teacher herself. I love Katie’s story. We went on, and we were talking about Jordyn. She’s a designer. A little bit of a different path than what Katie took. Tell me a little bit about Jordyn’s path when she was going through university. I’m trying to think of when Jordyn graduated.

I think it was 2018 or ‘19. I don’t have that note in front of me, sadly. Jordyn, I’m sorry.

It’s okay. I was looking at it. She graduated in 2018 with a BFA in Graphic Design and a minor in Studio Art. You had one that was all science all the time, and then you had another one that was at JMU for Graphic Design and a minor in Studio Art. Talk to us a little bit about her journey.

She, from a very young little Jordyn, always went the extra mile with her schoolwork. She always put so much effort in as a little kid. Her journey at JMU, I don’t have as many stories because she hasn’t shared quite as much as Katie has about that. However, she is a gifted artist. One of the fun facts is when students come into JMU, and they have that beautiful week that happens at the very beginning when you realize that you’re in a special place.

Fostering Creative Talent: Jordan’s Graphic Design Journey At JMU

Freshman orientation.

You learn all about holding the door and all of the wonderful things that truly do set this school apart. They have cups and different things that the kids get during this time. Jordyn was the designer of one of the cups that they gave to all the students. I have one of those cups here. That was a fun, cool thing that happened there. There’s a stairwell there. I wish I knew.

I should have asked her this before this call. Her art was chosen to go into that stairwell at JMU. I do hate that I don’t know how to tell you where it is. She had some real successes there and some fun things that she was able to do. She had a core group of people in the design department. She, too, had a professor who saw her and poured into her.

I know that when she spoke about her, she said that sometimes it felt like a mom-away-from-home kind of thing. They are still in contact as well. More than anything, though, it fostered a safe place for Jordyn. I would love to be able to thank that professor as well for seeing another one of my kiddos, loving on them, believing in them, pushing them, and all of the things that I believe that she did.

That’s all we can hope for, isn’t it? You have four. I have two and a bonus son. Through my own experience, I’ve learned that around 12 or 13, they’re a little tapped out on listening to Mom and Dad and speaking some sort of guidance and information from the side. I remembered reading that Dawn McCusker or Professor McCusker made a difference for her.

One of the other things that I noted was this whole aspect of community. I have a son who is also in the arts. What I find so ingratiating about the arts community is they do an amazing job in celebrating themselves within that community and all the different aspects. Whether it is visual arts, performing arts, or linguistics, the arts teacher brings everybody together. Shout out to Dawn McCusker for being that difference in her journey there at JMU.

I love that we had these two that were so different. We had another one that went to science. We had Joshua, your baby, who decided to go into physics, which is another awesome thing. When he was doing physics, was he in ISAT? Do you know that’s the new campus that’s on the other side of 81? Was he participating there? I would assume he was.

He graduated in 2019, so I’m not 100% sure.

It was there. It wasn’t there when I was there, but it was in 2019.

Honestly, I don’t know. I would have to guess on that. I’m not sure.

He did Physics with a concentration in Astrophysics and a minor in Mathematics, so he’s not very smart. He’s got a couple of doctors he would like to say thank you to also. One Dr. Keigo Fukumura. If Dr. Keigo Fukumura is tuning in, know that you made a big difference in his life. Another is Dr. Ilarion Melinkov. I don’t even know what to think of astrophysics. You got another one going into astrophysics. Talk to me a little bit about his journey in school.

Joshua was successful as well, like Katie and Jordyn. When I look back, I can honestly say that what these professors ended up being were answered prayers because I was away from my kids, clearly, because we cannot go with them to school. They won’t let us. All of you parents out there who are trying to figure that out, it’s not going to happen. I prayed hard for my kids to have people that would see them on their journeys for various reasons. I believe that each one of them experienced this.

The Power Of A Simple Walk: Turning Points In Physics & Astrophysics

From a mother’s heart, I would thank them on that level as well. I’m sure they don’t have any idea of the actual place that they filled in our absence. I hope they know that, but in case they don’t, there are much greater gifts that are given than the A on the test that was earned, the degree, or whatever else. It’s much bigger than that, for me, anyway, and where I’m coming from.

There are much greater gifts that are given than the A on the test that was earned or the degree. It's much bigger than that. Share on X

For Joshua, though, specifically, I asked him about this. He’s a boy, so he doesn’t talk to me quite as much about his journey, but he shared with me the one story about his professor that asked him to stay after class and wanted to go for a walk with him. When they went for this walk, he communicated to Joshua that he was smart and that he could do anything that he set his mind to. Maybe Joshua’s grades had slipped a little bit during this time.

When Joshua was telling me about this, he said, “This is very important.” He was so glad that I was having this conversation around the importance of professors and students being seen by them and professors going the extra mile. This was a turning point for Joshua, having someone take a minute to care about him. I am certain that the way he communicated to Joshua was full of belief because he made a believer out of Joshua. That would be my take on that. That’s powerful. It simply isn’t celebrated like I think it needs to be.

That’s one thing I would say to parents. Find out. Ask your kids. This was like a treasure for me to have these conversations with my kids, to find out the things that they’ve never told me about professors. This was a gift to me to know that someone saw my son and that this became a catalyst for Joshua for the rest of his time there. There are so many beautiful things about that story.

Dr. Melnikov, that walk was with you. I don’t know how many walks you take with students, but you took a walk with Joshua, and that was a turning point for him. Both for Dr. Fukumura and Dr. Melnikov, they need to understand that what Joshua is doing is pretty amazing work. He’s the Lead Clinical Systems Analyst for Stanford Health Care’s Radiation Oncology Department.

Having spent 22 years in med tech, rad onc is a tough department to be in. You’re dealing with patients who are very sick. You have to have a certain bandwidth in order to show up every day and be that light for other people. It sounds like somebody was the light for him and kept him on a path that is allowing him to illuminate that light further. Thank you to those professors.

You said something that resonates with me. It’s what you said about asking your students about their professors. When the students go to college, there’s a lot of talk at the football games, like who won this and all of that. It’s like, “Are you pledging this?” or, “What groups are you part of?” With the professors, you’ve got institutions that are doing amazing research.

Here, we’re talking about the physics department. You know that there are labs in physics and lots of research going on. They’re publishing these professors. These professors are on massive projects of their own in addition to teaching the students. Many times, they are volunteering their non-busy hours, if there is such a thing for a professor. They’re volunteering their hours to lead clubs. I’m sure there’s a physics club doing something. They’re also there leading different business fraternities.

The professors are always doing extra things that aren’t necessarily part of their salary, but it is part of how they want to show up for the university and for their students. It’s great that you mentioned it would be good for all of us as parents to ask, “What are your professors doing?” I’d be curious to hear what the students say about what they know about what their professors are doing because it’s pretty deep.

It’s important.

I cannot leave Whitney off this list. Whitney’s story is GMU, not JMU, but all the same. It is an amazing four-year institution here in the state of Virginia. With Whitney, I loved her comment about a philosophy professor. Shame on me for not taking philosophy because that’s one of these things as an adult where I’m thinking, “That would have benefited me in interpersonal communication and understanding things on a deeper level.” Professor Dan McCullough, who is no longer with us, as she put in her document, she called him a pirate. She sent a picture where he looks like a pirate. What a fun class that must have been to have this guy. Talk a little bit about her journey because she also said that he saved her life.

Lifesaving Higher Ed Connections: Whitney’s Story At George Mason

This is something that she had touched on over the years, but she didn’t share it with me on this level. When I read that, I was struck by it. It meant a lot, for sure. The point I’m trying to make broadly here is that we have certain expectations as parents when our kids go to school, like our ideas in our mind and what roles professors will play in our kids’ lives.

I don’t think that I ever slowed down long enough to appreciate that these professors would see my kids, care about my kids, love my kids, pour into my kids, and make a difference in my kids’ lives on a level that is not always entirely educational, but more their heart and the things that they carry for the rest of their lives. She carries this with her.

Since we are all human beings and life is not always an easy path for anyone, I will forever be grateful to know that he taught and spoke to her in such a way that it may have been a knot at the end of her rope on any given day. That was quite a while ago, so I couldn’t speak to that specifically. That’s the same for all of these professors. Life is not perfect. My kids went to college in the aftermath of a tough divorce. That is too common.

If it isn’t that, it could be something else. I can’t think of the word I want to say, but to assume that life is easy all of the time is an incorrect assumption. To see students as the whole person and to include their heart, their emotions, and all that kind of stuff is deeply valuable. I wish that he were still with us. I wish that there was some way to thank him for the way he poured into her and the fact that it was a life-saving type of connection there. I wish that I could do that. I’m grateful for that.

To see students whole—the whole person to include their heart and their emotions—is just deeply valuable. Share on X

I think he hears you, for sure. I love talking about all these stories of your kids as a mom myself, who’s still trying to get two more through the system. I love getting to know you as a mom and a parent of college-aged students. This is what they had to endure, and this is what you had to endure. I also love your story. You touched on it a second ago about how you were in the midst of a difficult divorce.

We have a lot of students who are coming to campus with lots of heavy baggage that they are dealing with. It’s not necessarily on display because everybody wants to show up their best. It’s a new beginning when you come to campus. You’re trying out new things. Yet, at the same time, you’re still carrying all of this with you.

I look at your journey as a parent. I find the level of optimism that you carried and how you continued to support your kids despite the fact that you were going through a difficult time quite amazing. I mentioned at the top of the hour that I met you because you manage people. You lead your own teams, and you have for a number of years in a multitude of capacities. You mentioned a mentor of yours poured into you. I want to talk a little bit about that mentor because I’ve got to think that somewhere in your relationship with that mentor, that also helped in you supporting your kids.

I reached out to Charles to let him know that I would be mentioning him. Without a doubt, Charles Fisher and his wife Nubia, I credit both of them with the same things that I was speaking about these professors. They saw me. They hired me to work the front desk of one of the businesses they owned.

Discovering Your Encoding: Susan’s Workforce Reentry & Passion For People

While you were raising the kids, you were not working at the same time, right?

No. I was raising my kiddos. I didn’t complete college.

You were doing more than work. Many would think that.

I was living my absolute best life. I loved being their mom, for sure. When I was trying to find my footing going through a divorce, I had several jobs, and one of them was working for Charles and Nubia. After meeting them for a very short time, they started mentoring me and offered me the job of managing one of their businesses almost immediately. It was unexpected. I couldn’t believe it because I didn’t even know what I could possibly be good at outside of the home. It was such a journey. They poured into me in ways that I cannot express the impact it had on my life.

I’ll never forget one day when Charles and I had a conversation. He asked me what I was born to do. For the life of me, that’s a hard question to answer. I did my best to answer it in the moment. I said something like, “I don’t know, Charles. I love people. It kills me to think that people don’t know that they are so important and they have such great value. I don’t know. These things bother me so much. I think that I’m supposed to connect to people somehow.”

One thing led to another. He heard me telling stories. His business had a lot of success. The next thing I know, he’s sending me all over to talk to his different businesses and encourage people. It was the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life. I credit him with believing in me and pushing me to do that. It’s not something I would have ever done.

In that conversation, when he asked me, “What are you born to do?” It reminded me of what I’m working on. I’m working through a book called What to Make of a Life. It’s an excellent book. It’s by Jim Collins. I don’t have this completed. It’s something I’m working on. In that book, he talks about encodings and what you’re encoded to do. That is very different from what you’re good at. It’s what you are. It is that deeper thing. It is what I believe Charles was tapping into.

There are signs when you are operating in something you are encoded to do. You cannot not do this. Looking back in my life, I had been doing these things all of my life, but I didn’t know it enough to qualify it. I remember talking to Joshua without realizing I was talking about this one day because he was teaching me something. I’m like, “Joshua, I don’t know what you’re going to do with your life.” He was still in college. I was like, “You need to know this. You are a gifted teacher. I’m telling you you are. I don’t know that you’re going to become a teacher in the traditional sense.”

 

TERN Talks | Susan Hyche | Parenting College Students

 

Everything in your body changes, I believe, when you are operating in something you are encoded to do. His speech was quicker. He would pace the floor. He was passionate about whatever subject he was trying to convey to me or whatever. I experienced that same energy and that same excitement. It is not draining. There are signs when you are doing something you are encoded to do. For me, that’s a connection from one person to another. It is loving people, whatever it is. I don’t know. I’m way off track here.

You’re not. When we talked before on this subject about you having this desire to connect with people, Charles saw this in you. He put you in a position to go out, connect, and speak to large groups. One of the things you also said to me is that it hurts your heart when you see people not behaving well towards other people.

Since you are in a customer-facing environment, unfortunately, you witness a lot of people who you believe to be hurt, not seen, and not valued because of the way in which they show up in front of you or the employees that you’ve hired. There is something there about that connection with people, being passionate about what you do, and showing up well. Based on your experience on a day-to-day basis, meeting people, and connecting with them, what do you think is missing? What do you think needs to happen?

Leading With Empathy: Navigating Human Connection & Retail Leadership

I think about this a lot. In the job I’m in, maybe because it is in retail or maybe it is because of the timing and the climate, I feel like people are hurting in a large way. As a society and as individuals, we live in a very fast-paced world. We live in a very fictitious world too often. There are things on social media and whatnot that are put in front of us as though they are real, the standard, and so on and so forth when they aren’t.

In a fast-paced and fictitious world, it is too easy for people to feel lost and disconnected. But surrounding yourself with diverse people who don't think like you brings tremendous value. Share on X

For a lot of people who maybe don’t have their feet on the ground yet, no matter their age, it is easy to feel lost, easy to feel disconnected, and also easy to hate. That’s a terrible thing. It’s something that I cannot relate to because I can’t think of a single soul on this earth that I would entertain the emotion of hate toward. It’s not something that you do, in my opinion. That’s how I was raised. That would have never been tolerated in my home.

I see that a lot. I have a lot of diversity in and around me every day. My team is extremely diverse. It always has been. I find that to be extremely valuable. I love to surround myself with people who don’t think like me, who don’t look like me, and who do not come from anything similar to me because I learn so much. It has such tremendous value in my life. If I’m going to be near you for any length of time, I’m not going to be able to stay on the surface with you. I don’t do surface well. I’m going to dive deep. We’re going to get to know each other. We’re going to love each other.

You sucked me right into that.

That is how I know how to do life. It’s the only way I know how to do it. These beautiful women that I work with, we all see it. Someone will come into the store. You never know what is going on. You never know what could possibly be hurting them. Sometimes, we try to engage, and it is not allowed. We are seeing that more often than I have ever seen in my life.

You will welcome them, or somebody on your team will welcome them. I’ve been welcomed in such a gracious way. You said that people will hold up their hands to your face. They will shut you down. I liked what you said. Say it again. You said it a second ago. They won’t let you in. Is that what you said?

We were talking about this. If you will let me come near you, I am going to want to know not only why you are here, but how I can help you. For right or wrong or however it may be, I can feel it. If you let me talk to you long enough, I’m going to connect to you. I want to. What we’re experiencing often is the ability to do that, but also, we’re experiencing the hand of, “Don’t approach me. I am not here to talk to you.” There is an energy that is akin to hate. I hate saying that. I can’t stand the thought that we live in a society where that is tolerated. That is heartbreaking to me, but I’m seeing it.

As I mentioned I have a lot of diversity in my team. When I see that coming toward a member of my team, I’m not going to have that. That is so unnecessary. The way we handle that in that environment is we celebrate the person. We love the person that is the recipient of that unkindness or whatever the choice word is, if hate is not the right word. Usually, you can see the expression on the person’s face soften.

Sometimes, it might be an embarrassment that they might feel, or maybe they’re ashamed. Maybe it is enlightenment where they realize, “They’re not the enemy. Where did I even get that idea?” Sometimes, before their visit with us is over, you can see a shift. These things are important. It doesn’t always work. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what we try. It does not work. You cannot break through. Unfortunately, there are people who are going to believe what they’re going to believe, and that’s it.

That’s sad because I truly love being shocked by learning something I didn’t know yesterday about an idea, a person, or whatever it is. Even better yet, I love finding out I was wrong. That’s a wonderful feeling to find out. I saw that. I judged that. I got that thing wrong. It feels so much better because I can see that clearly. That’s a much better way to be. In the store, when we see that happen, it sure does feel good. Sometimes, people will even say, “Thank you,” and that they were wrong.

Finding out you were wrong is a wonderful feeling. To realize you judged something incorrectly and now see it clearly is a much better way to live. Share on X

I love sharing this experience that you see in the store with your team because it’s the real world. It’s every day. It’s what people experience. What I found so fascinating and why I wanted you to come on the show is not just because you are the parent of students who went to James Madison University and George Mason University, but we started having these other conversations about interpersonal connection.

We had conversations about what you said about having to meet people where they are, never being rude back, and celebrating the person who may have been offended by somebody’s rudeness. You mentioned an interesting word that I hope we’re allowed to go to because you shared it with me before. You mentioned that you don’t know if maybe that person was ashamed.

When we spoke before, you also talked about this whole concept of shame. We got into the whole Brené Brown thing and started talking about that. I want to go there for a minute. You have this optimism. You have empathy. You have a desire to connect with people. You returned back home to something that you had been reluctant to do for a long time because you carried your own level of shame. Can you tell us that story? It was such a good story.

Reclaiming Peace: Overcoming Shame & Returning To Alabama Roots

I’ll do my best. For my journey in life, I’m from a small town in Alabama. I love my town. I love the people. It’s a long story, and I don’t know how to qualify it short enough for this timeframe. I walked a certain way in my life. I was a good student and a successful kiddo in school and high school. I went to college, and I didn’t make the best choices my freshman year in college. I ended up pregnant. I went from being well-received, if you will, to dealing with consequences from not making the best choices in my life and a lot of judgment. I knew it.

It was not something that was quiet. It was a mess. That shaped me and covered me in so much shame that I would have never, ever wanted to bring on my family, my friends, the people that had believed in me, and all of the things. You don’t want that. That is the thing I would say about human beings. When we don’t get something exactly according to the plan that would have been the best thing, we should meet each other with grace more often and a little less judgment.

What I have found over the years is that it’s so common, not necessarily pregnancy, but you name it. There are so many things that people struggle with silently that hold them hostage, if you will, to the ideas in their mind about what it means about them. It doesn’t have to be true. I struggled with it for a very long time.

I will stop right here to say this. The one thing I have never been ashamed of was my daughter and the gift that she has always been in my life. Talk about a lifesaver. Talk about a true gift straight from God’s heart to where I was in my life, and the amazing love that I would receive that did not ever flounder. It was very consistent. All four of my kids are the greatest things that I have ever had the extreme pleasure of being a part of.

I know how much God loves me when I think about who He allowed me to know in my children. I didn’t even know at nineteen years old that I even wanted to be a mom. I was doing other things. I had other ideas. It turned out to be the most fulfilling, most wonderful thing I have ever done in my life. The thing I miss the most in this world is raising those kids, but I have enjoyed watching their lives. I’m not holding on to them in that way because I want them to blossom and go and do all the beautiful things that they’re doing.

Shame, to follow back up with the question you asked, is very powerful. I had decided that the criticism and hatred, if you will, or at the very least, unkindness toward me was the common shared feeling about me rather than super limited to a few people. There’s fear that drives decisions to not face things by going back home, if you will, but also its proximity because I did not live anywhere near Alabama. I lived in Cape Cod. I was always pregnant or had had a baby. That kept me from going.

I was president of my senior class. Technically, in some views, I should have been in charge of all things to do with reunions and whatnot, but for many reasons, I was not able to. The one that became in my face at 58 years old was, on some level, you are still carrying shame. You need to face this because it is not rooted in the reality of who you are as a person.

I’ve been a lot of things since I was eighteen years old. Some of those things were pretty great, like being a mom. I went to my high school reunion for the first time in 40 years. It’s been 40 years since I graduated high school. I went, and I had the time of my life. I saw and learned how loved I was and am by so many people. It was so good for my heart. I learned that some things never change, both the good and the not-so-good, and that’s okay. It allowed me to see it, accept it, and be able to stand in it. I don’t know how to word the emotion I feel. Taking your power back is the only way I know to say it, but I don’t like the way that sounds because I don’t need power. I don’t need to feel any type of way.

Making peace.

I think that’s much better. I am taking my peace back and knowing that I’m okay and I’m all right.

A Love Letter To Educators: The Unseen Impact Of Heart-Centered Mentorship

Having met you not that long ago, you’re more than all right. Having the chance to get to know you and talk about the things that were surface-level and common, but then being able to move into this depth of conversation, you are so interesting, accomplished, accepting, and understanding. Thank you for giving us the privilege of knowing about these stories because I know they’re deeply personal. I love the fact that you’re willing to share this.

This is what mentorship is all about for me. In my conversations with you, I was like, “The way that Susan shows up, I would have never known that she had these cuts that ran so deep from her resiliency and how she’s been able to allow those things to shape who she is and take it to a better place, train people, manage people, raise her children, and celebrate the professors that we celebrated on the call today.”

You’ve taken all of this pain and shame and moved it to a better place. That gave me a tremendous amount of hope. I wanted people to know about the hope that still exists in people like you. If you don’t go out and meet people on purpose, you are going to miss these unbelievably deep and epic stories and connections that may fill your soul. Thank you.

 

TERN Talks | Susan Hyche | Parenting College Students

 

I have to give a shout-out to Eddie Sanders. Eddie, I’m going to tell you about this so that you’ll read this someday. Eddie was probably my first friend in life because we were in preschool together at Eastside Baptist Church. We went to school together our entire lives. I saw him from across the room at this reunion. Eddie is one of those people that I think has always loved me, and I thank God for the consistency of that. I had no reason to believe that Eddie was deeply disappointed in me. He is not that person. When I saw him grin at me from across that room and I made a beeline to him to see my oldest friend and his beautiful wife, the love that I was met with was so unbelievably good for me.

Thank God for Eddie.

This is what we should do more of, which is love people without hesitation.

Tears are flowing everywhere. Thank you, Eddie. Thank you, Susan. Thank you to all of the amazing professors. Thank you to your kids who are willing to share their stories. I know for all of the kids, your mom was pinging you on email and was saying, “You’ve got to give this back to me,” because your mom is the most prepared person that I’ve ever had on the show. I want to thank you for sharing all of your stories, your heart, your hope, your peace, and your beliefs. It has been so lovely to chat with you. We will see each other very soon.

For anybody else who’s tuning in, we will continue to release episodes on a weekly basis. I’ll continue to bring amazingly interesting people with tremendous depth, like Susan, whether they’re students, professors, alumni, mentors, or parents. Thank you for being our first parent to come on the show because you had some great stories to share. If somebody’s like, “Susan, there’s something that’s so fascinating. I’ve got to ask you parent to parent,” is there a way that you want them to get in touch with you?

You can always be smart and not show up with heart and miss the mark. For those people that bring their heart to what they do, you are the difference. Share on X

Sure. I would love that. Do you want me to give you the email now or send it to you? How would you like for me to do that?

You can say the email now.

It’s SusanHyche14@gmail.com. I would love that very much. I do often find that I go in different directions without even meaning to, but JMU and George Mason, thank you for the experiences my kids had. Professors, mentors, Charles Fisher, and the beautiful souls that are operating in their encodings, thank you. That’s the game-changer right there. You can always be smart and not show up with heart and miss the mark, so for those people that bring their heart to what they do, you are the difference. I am so grateful.

Thank you. I hope you all love this love letter from Susan to everybody that has made an impact in her and her kids’ lives. With that, we’re going to wrap, but I will see you next time. Thank you so much, Susan. God bless you. Talk to you all soon.

 

Important Links

 

About Susan Hyche

TERN Talks | Susan Hyche | Parenting College Students

How does a single mother of four rebuild after divorce, raise her children to graduate college and enter promising careers, and find her own calling along the way? For Susan Hyche, mentorship was the key. Today, Susan is a client experience and retail operations leader. She was the highest-grossing center manager in the European Wax Center for five straight years. But before the accolades, Susan was a single mother of four rebuilding her life after divorce. Mentors Charles and Nubia Fisher gave her a chance and a question: “What were you born to do?” That question set her on a path toward what she now calls her calling: seeing people, believing in them, and helping them find their value. She brings that heart to her teams and to her four grown children.

 

 

Ready to give your mentorship program wings?

Fill out the form and a team member will contact you shortly.

WCAG 2.1 Level AA
©2026 TERN Mentoring

Ready to embark on a journey to building a legacy in mentorship?

Benefit from our insights! Simply fill out the form below to download the white paper and join our mentorship community.

Name(Required)